It was apparent as soon as you bounced by, sniffing the grass around our blanket and looking longingly at a butterfly that rose and spiraled through the air, that you were only here because of how cute you are. You were helpless without a human. In the wild a cougar, coyote or possibly even a skunk if it was bored, could easily catch you and separate the soft cushion of fur from your flanks. I imagined myself lost in the woods with a wild patchy beard, starving and limping due to a gangrenous foot and still able to snatch you up with relative ease. But as I looked into your dark, watery eyes it all made sense. You were loving, kind and adorable in a way that could make murderers swoon. Even Queen Victoria endorsed you. You were bred as a companion and you were good at it. But to be clear, I’d still eat you if I were lost in the woods.