Some of you may be thinking that $35 for a used lawn rake is asking a little much, but this isn’t any ordinary rake, this rake is a piece of Internet history. This is the rake I used to beat my POS cheating ex-husband into submission in the popular Youtube video, Woman Teaches Cheating Husband a Lesson, which has been viewed nearly 2.3 million times. To be clear, international notoriety aside, this is also a highly functional rake. This past fall, before it/we went viral, I raked my front and back yard and did a really great job of it thanks to this rake, which is quite impressive considering the many large maple trees we have around the house. It was a lot of work but it had to be done, because Ken sure as hell wasn’t going to do it. He was “busy” with other “things.” “Things” being that turd Jessamine from the HR department at his work.
In honour of being transparent, unlike Ken when I first asked him if he was having an affair, I will admit that the rake is missing a few teeth. You can see at about 1:56 of the Youtube video, that when I wail on Ken with the rake as he’s turtled up against one of the maple trees, a few of the teeth get stuck in his back flesh and break off. That’s actually the moment he makes the weird, banshee-esque squealing sound that has been remixed into a bunch of famous songs on Youtube. I think my favourite is Gonna Make You Sweat by C+C Music Factory.
The rake was also used as evidence after spineless Ken tried to take me to court after the beating I gave him, but I got it back after the judge threw out the case. He said Ken deserved what he got and the five-hundred and fifty-six thousand likes the Youtube video got attest to that, which is kind of crazy in a law & order sense, since I hurt him pretty severely (he was off work for a few weeks and had to get skin graft from his ass to his face––which is fitting), but awesome for me. So if anything, going through the legal system successfully should add more value to the rake! Haha.
So yeah, fall is here and if you need a good, solid, justice wielding rake, this one is for you!
vancouver, BC > vancouver > for sale > farm+garden
Portrait by Andrea Hooge for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters