Benefit Statement

You were an excellent speaker and a fastidious listener. As your discussion on interview skills went on I could feel a fresh confidence swelling throughout the class. We were entertained as well as educated. Then, unfortunately, you tried to describe a scene of procrastination; a person who should’ve really been prepping while on their way to a big interview but wasn’t. Things would’ve been different if you had said they were “goofing off”, “screwing around” or even “picking their butt”, but instead you chose “jerking off”. It was almost audible, the sound of all of our lips pursing at once to contain a certain rupture of laughter. I know it was accidental but I had to pounce, offering that people shouldn’t be masturbating on the street anyways, interview or not. You turned scarlet. I felt terrible. It took a moment for the guffaws to subside. Then you countered: “Well, I can’t help what some people are into.”