Petty Larceny vs. A Moment of Consideration

As a security guard you had to have known where the security cameras were. From above they watched banally as you weaselled your way into coat-check, rummaging through the other bar-goers belongings until you found my friend’s bag, unzipped it and slipped his laptop out and took off. Why you didn’t expect that he would report the theft to the bar and that your boss would check the security footage is something I don’t understand. It’s like you purposely missed the last ten steps on a well-lit flight of stairs.

You wound up handing over the computer and your job. The bar manager seemed genuinely upset with what happened and personally took a taxi to my friend’s place to deliver the stolen goods. The first thing he found after making sure his files hadn’t been wiped was that you tried unsuccessfully to download Fast and the Furious 7. Was the 7th instalment of Vin Diesel mumbling about family and driving impossibly clean sports cars into airplanes really worth all of this? Probably. It is a quality franchise.