Table 4 Dog

Since I was a really little kid I always wanted a dog. I remember my friend Jesse’s family had a golden retriever named Toby. Toby used to do this thing were he’d make this high pitched squealing sound when he’d see you cause he’d get so excited, you know? His butt would start wiggling back and forth and he’d start slipping all over the hardwood as he ran at you. I loved that dog. My family didn’t really have any pets growing up. There was the time when uncle Dave got sick and didn’t want to go to the hospital to die so my mom set him up in the spare room as a kinda hospice thing. Nurses used to come in and check all the machines attached to him and change his bedpan and all that, but in between when the nurses weren’t there, mom would make us bring uncle Dave food and talk to uncle Dave and play cards with uncle Dave. We didn’t always want to do that so it was kind of like one of those pet chores, like taking a dog for a walk. Except a dog wouldn’t call you an ungrateful little shit cause you wouldn’t sneak him a few of mom’s smokes.

So I have this table. It’s this really nice dining room table. Mahogany. An almond finish. It’s actually an heirloom. It was my great grandpa’s then my grandpa’s then my uncle Dave’s. After uncle Dave died my mom got it, cause besides me, she was the last Waldman in Lake Land County. When mom died last year I got the table. I don’t want the table. I have a table. A pretty nice table, actually. I want a dog. I’ve always wanted a dog. If anyone has a dog or puppy they’d like to trade me for this beautiful dining room table please let me know.

vancouver, BC > vancouver > for sale > barter

Portrait by Mia Dungeon for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

Do you like to be Insurance Broker?

Do you have dreams? Do you want to achieve those dreams? Is your dream to be Insurance Broker? Is your dream to make lots and lots of money while helping ppl at same time? Good. I can help you pass Insurance Brokerage exam, no problem. With years and years of Insurance Brokerage experience I am the right person to help you pass the Insurance Brokerage exam. I’ve helped clients with life, car, health, house, business, boat, etc. insurance and they are all 100% happy with the great job I’ve done for them. I once helped artist get coverage for a great big fantastic art piece of a man in suit whose head was large detailed head of penis! I joked asking if I was inspiration and he laughed. I’m also funny sense of humour! Great quality in a teacher!

If you want to have great, funny, rewarding ($$$) experiences like my own then email me about lessons on how to pass Insurance Brokerage exam. We can meet in cafe, park, or even my place if you are not allergic to cats. You can also help insure pets! Follow your dreams. Email now!

vancouver, BC > vancouver > services > lessons

Portrait by Andrew Pommier for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

Everywhere you are that isn’t here.

I saw you briefly on Tinder. Your hair was red and skin pale and you looked into the camera like it was an old friend you were putting up with only because of your shared history. I wanted to match with you so badly that I “super liked” you, which in retrospect I now realize was a mistake. There’s no better way to scare off a potential romantic interest than by letting them know to what degree you are interested in them, in this case a “super” degree. We never matched. Then I saw you on OKCupid. Those same photos, that same cool brand of indifference in the shot of you wearing the sunglasses with the one lens missing, the single emerald green hoop of your eye somehow finding more definition on its own. Your profile told me you hadn’t logged-in in over a year. Over the next few weeks I’d get a glimpse of you on Bumble, Happn, and I think even in a Yelp comment section. I started Christian Mingle and J-Date accounts just in case. I scoured Farmer’s Only because by your photos you really seemed to like the outdoors. Nothing. I just can’t seem to hack my way through the thick jungle of the Internet long enough to reach out before the overgrowth swallows you again. Hopefully you’ll see this, and it’s possible after all of my searching you’ll just look at me the same way you look at the camera, but maybe not.

vancouver, BC > vancouver > personals > missed connections

Portrait by Brandon Cotter for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

License Plate Trade, NSA

Hey guys, just a little backstory before I get into it. So my GF is really into collecting old license plates and she wants to, at some point, have license plates from all 10 provinces, 3 territories, and all 50 states (in America, obvs). Right now she has plates from B.C, Alberta, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec (no offence, but the poutine is better here!), N.S, Newfoundland/Labrador, the Yukon (found in a 2nd hand store in Washington!!), N.W.T, Washington (found in same store we got the Yukon plate!), Oregon, California, Nevada, Hawaii (best vacation ever!), Arizona, Utah, Montana, Colorado, New Mexico, Texas (the plates are the same size there as everywhere else, so much for everything being bigger in Texas. Harhar.), Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota (totally went to Fargo! Great film.), Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee (did a trade at a gas station for an iPhone charger!), Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio (how can you not love Lebron!?), Pennsylvania, Michigan, Vermont (Bernie bro!), New York (went and watched the Knicks lose 🙁 ), New Jersey, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Maryland (is it true it’s named after Mary Magdalen?), Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Florida.

The ones she’s missing are Saskatchewan, New Brunswick, P.E.I (probably because she doesn’t like potatoes! Ha!), Nunavut, Alaska, Idaho, Wyoming, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Illinois, Wisconsin, Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Delaware. I really want to get them for her to help finish her collection, not just because I’m the best BF (harhar), but I think if I do this for her she’ll really, really, appreciate it and see how devoted I am to her and how much I really, truly love her. (Sorry for getting so sappy, blergh) And to be honest, I want her to see how fully devoted I am to her so I can finally pop the question(!!!!). The only thing is, I’m flat-ass broke at the moment, so if you happen to have one of the missing plates I’d like to propose a trade! 😉 Hit me up, I’m game for anything, NSA. Let’s just say I’m doing this all in the name of love. <3

vancouver, BC > vancouver > personals > misc romance 

Portrait by Tylor Macmillan for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

License Plate Trade, NSA (EDITED!!)

Hi again guys! I guess a lot of you misunderstood my previous post! I just went to this one guy’s house because he had a Massachusetts plate he was willing to give me in exchange for a little “help,” and when I showed up at his place (he’d left the front door unlocked and told me to walk right in. Weird!) there was a sheet with a hole cut in it pinned up over the entrance to the living room. I thought that maybe he was just nervous about a stranger coming to his place or he was sensitive to daylight or maybe he was some sort of hideous beast, ala the Mask––the one with Cher not Jim Carrey, and didn’t want me to see the unfathomable horror that was his face.

Then he told me to approach the sheet and get ready, and I totally thought he was going to hand the license plate out the hole in the sheet, but when I reached down to grab it, what came out of the hole was definitely not a Massachusetts license plate!! Guys, when I said I was game to do anything, NSA, in a trade for the license plates I’m collecting in order to prove my love and devotion for my GF, I meant No Sexual Acts!!1

So guys, if you have any of the license plates I still need (Saskatchewan, New Brunswick, P.E.I, Nunavut, Alaska, Idaho, Wyoming, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Illinois, Wisconsin, Maine, Connecticut, Delaware––he gave me the Massachusetts because he felt bad about the misunderstanding) I am willing to mow your lawn or help you move some furniture, not S your D!!

THANKS!!

vancouver, BC > vancouver > personals > misc romance 

Portrait by Nikki Pecasso for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

Electrician Looking for Side Work

I’ve been a practicing electrician for nearly ten-years. I have my Red Seal, all of my own tools, and a vehicle. I’m quick, efficient, and have a good eye for detail. I work well alone and can lift over 200lbs. I am very honest, loyal, and discreet. Some hobbies I enjoy are parkour, survivalist hiking excursions, and lock-picking. I have been training in various martial arts such as Muay Thai, Krav Maga, Brazilian Jui Jitsu, and Judo, since childhood, which helped me develop a high pain tolerance. I have no immediate family, wife or children, and would only consider the few people I spend time with acquaintances at best. Those acquaintances have told me on multiple occasions that I have the demeanour of Liam Neeson from Taken 1-3. But more so Taken 1 (the good one). I also have my firearms license. I would like to take on a job in my spare time that allows me to use the skills I have that being an electrician doesn’t utilize. If you have a job that you would like me to do, or “take care” of, please let me know and we can discuss rates, methods, etc.

– Doug

vancouver, BC > vancouver > resumes

Portrait by Juli Majer for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

Brunette at Cafe on Main St.

It was around 1:30pm when you and a few of your friends sat down at the table behind me. One of your friend’s moms recently got Facebook and had started posting kind of embarrassing things and tagging your friend in them. All of you were laughing very hard at this. I also thought it was funny because my mom does the same thing, except with weird alt-right propaganda articles, and I accidentally let out an audible chuckle. Everyone at your table went silent and there was a moment where I felt like a total eavesdropping creep before all of you burst out laughing. I laughed too and looked over my shoulder and made a face that said “yah, that was kind of weird for me to be listening to your conversation but as a human living in the digital age I totally relate with the story you were telling.”

After that all of you kept on talking and laughing and having a nice time. Then I felt something. A gentle thud on the top of my head that slowly made its way down my neck and shoulders. It was your hair. You’d done a hair-flip thing and it landed right on me. I thought you’d notice what you’d done but I guess keratin doesn’t really have any sense receptors so maybe not. I chalked it up to an accident. Then it happened again a few minutes later. I looked back but no-one at your table seemed to notice. Then it happened again and again and again over the course of the next two-and-a-half- hours and I wanted to say something but I wasn’t sure if it was an accident or that maybe you were just trying to tell me something. Like maybe you thought I was cute when I made that “I am one of untold millions currently moving through this unprecedented technological growth period that has left our older generations struggling to catch up, so this is a familiar story to me” face and this was your way of letting me know. Or maybe you thought it was weird that I laughed audibly at your friend’s anecdote and you were just treating me like I wasn’t there, like your hair had more right to be there than I did because I was a total eavesdropping creep who didn’t deserve to be recognized as a present, breathing being even though I was actually at the cafe before any of you got there so if anyone had the right to flip there hair indiscriminately onto someone it was me.

If you see this, please let me know which one it is. Thanks.

vancouver, BC > vancouver > personals > missed connections

Portrait by Brenden Fortescue for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

Proof of the Supernatural

In the moments after my grandfather died, quiet and in his own bed surrounded by family after a protracted battle against his own innards, I took several photographs. My mother was furious but my grandmother didn’t seem to mind, probably relieved it was finally over. Later, when I watched those images slowly appear in my bathroom- cum-darkroom, they didn’t make sense. Everything from that day was there; my mother and her mother on either side of the bed, holding the right and left hands of my expired grandfather, whose eyes seemed stuck open, not looking at anything; and through the window to the back garden a row of sunflowers hanging their wilted heads in either mourning or neglect. New to the scene was the young man.

I had never seen him before and he sure as hell wasn’t there that day. In one photo he stood over the bed, looking down at my grandfather with a hand on my grandmother’s shoulder. In another he was on the bed, shirt pulled up, exposing his well defined stomach, which he seemed to be caressing in awe. In another, unbeknownst to my grandmother, he squeezed her breasts, a look of delight plastered stupidly on his face. He flipped off my camera, removed his pants and played with himself, and then flung himself out the window, bare butt translucent in the morning sun, in the subsequent photos. I showed them to my mother and grandmother and all they could do was nod. It was my grandfather, who looked to be about twenty years-old. He was always a son- of-a-bitch, my grandmother said, not surprised at his posthumous crudeness.

None of us want these photos anymore. We miss our husband, father, and grandfather, but this isn’t how we want to remember him. If you want proof of the afterlife, of the supernatural, of the human spirit’s undying commitment to being a filthy piece of shit, then you’ll love these.

vancouver, BC > vancouver > for sale > free

Portrait by Sophia Ahamed for Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

Portraits of Brief, Casual Encounters

On November 10th, 2016, the 3rd iteration of the Portraits of Brief Encounters art show and gallery game took some generally practical, occasionally desperate, and wholly anonymous inspiration from the Internet’s favourite classifieds page.

Fifteen short stories were written for and posted in corresponding Craigslist categories by writer and curator Cole Nowicki. Fifteen different artists visually interpreted those stories. Numerous strangers from the Internet also responded to them––with heartfelt engagement, confusion, and pictures of their genitals.

Gallery goers attempted to match each story to its artwork for a chance to win a piece of their choice.

………………………

How the game worked:

For a $5 entry you got a storybook containing the written half of the portraits (+ a rare, endangered, limited edition, sensual, #POBEshow bookmark.)

You moved about the room enjoying great art and good beer while matching story to artwork using your wealth of interpretive skill.

Books were then marked with each correct guess equalling $5 off of the asking price of any piece for a potential $75 discount.

Top scorers were entered into a draw with the winner taking home a piece of their choice (that wasn’t already sold)! We paid out the chosen artist in full.

………………………

Contributing artists included:

Andrea Hooge
Andrew Pommier
Brandon Cotter
Brenden Fortescue
Chelsea O’Byrne
Coreena Lewis
Derrick Fast
Dylan Homer
Juli Majer
Katie So
Mia Dungeon
Nikki Pecasso
Puppyteeth
Sophia Ahamed
Tylor Macmillan

………………………

POBE show 2016